We all talk to ourselves at some level.
On level 1- The Surface.
In ordinary day to day life we often tell ourselves and others how silly we are or how great we are. It could be a mistake we made or a project we nailed…we may make a joke like, “Wow, I guess I’ll never be good at this. Haha.” Or the opposite, “I knew I was going to get the promotion, I deserved it and worked my ass off for it!”
Whether we really believe what we say or not, one way or another we tell people and ourselves WHO WE ARE on a surface because the surface is an easy place to say something honest. There isn’t much risk there.
On Level 2- The Pressure.
Every so often, when the pressure is on, our true selves come out. It could be a temptation or a huge opportunity. These “talking to ourselves” moments are a bit more private and we normally will not speak out loud about them unless we are in a safe space like a loved one or therapist etc.
For example, you might have gone for a second slice of cake when no one was looking and now you regret it because you are already over weight and struggle to keep the weight off.
Or in an opposite way, you are the type who always rises to the occasion and time and time again you nail everything. A little deeper down you are proud of yourself but for some reason you don’t take the time to bask in and enjoy your victories…
You see, when the pressure is on we don’t really expose ourselves as often. We often don’t admit these thing’s although we may genuinely know them about ourselves.
The outside world won’t really know this about you unless their radar is up and they are truly intrigued by you.
The Pressure is where we start to ignore ourselves.
On Level 3- The Dark
The Dark is where few go if ever. And where few can go sustainably and often. And where even fewer go successfully.
The Dark is the inner voice that goes way way beyond typical internal thought and talk.
It reaches deeper than what we can control. It’s our truest, realest, ugliest, most beautiful, honest and vulnerable selves…
It’s called The Dark because it’s terrifying. The Dark is a quiet and 100 percent transparent place with information about who you really are or are not. It is REALLY knowing who you are and the real story you are telling yourself…
See, we humans play many rolls and characters. Each chapter different and ever moving and evolving. We wear the clothes, think of ideas, say the words, take action and interact.
Me myself for example? I am dad, husband, MRK the Instagramer, the barber, the friend, the son, the brother, the advice giver, the motivator, the wannabe fit guy, the wannabe stereotype Irish guy…I could go on.
My point is, it takes tons of energy and time to do this.
It can be labor-some to live life this way. It can wear us down.
This is what many people experience at many points in their life. Some call it depression, it could be a “mid-life” crisis or a general frustration with where you are in your current situation…either way we get stuck.
And what I have learned in life is that when you find yourself at this place and you feel like you are trapped and don’t know what to do…then do this-
Go To The Dark.
I know, it sounds, well, Dark…haha
And the only problem with The Dark is it requires solitude. It requires patience. It requires quietness. No- even beyond that. It requires STILLNESS.
And when does that ever happen in 2022?
When is the last time we sat down without our phones and just breathed?
I believe that we don’t know ourselves well enough because we never take the TIME.
We think because there are things happening around us that THAT means we are something.
That we are doing “ok”.
Doesn’t that sound vague?
Doesn’t that sound like tired thinking?
The Dark only happens naturally when we sleep and that is only 4-6 hrs for some of us.
And I don’t think it’s a coincidence that experts suggest 8-9 hrs…
Something amazing happens when we are still. When we are quiet.
Somewhere and some time in our lives The Dark is waiting for us.
Whether we catch The Dark on our death beds or in our sleep or praying or meditating or closing our eyes and breathing…whatever type of label you want to put on it- it’s always there. Waiting for us to lean into it to find out who we are. What story we are telling ourselves REALLY. What words and emotions are we clinging to? What lies and truths exist in us?